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    Anonymous Story2 min read

    How do I make closer friends?

    I'm not someone who struggles to talk to people exactly but I've never been great at turning conversations into actual friendships. I have people I'm cool with at school, guys I'll talk to in class or joke around with at lunch, but none of it ever seems to go anywhere deeper than that. Everyone else seems to have their people and I'm kind of just floating around the edges of different groups without really belonging to any of them. I've been like this for a while and I kept thinking it would just sort itself out but it hasn't. I don't know if it's because I'm naturally more quiet or because I just don't know how to actually take things to the next level with people. I started thinking about what was actually stopping things from going deeper. I was never the one to initiate anything beyond school. Never the one to suggest hanging out, never the one to text first, never the one to share anything real about myself. I kept waiting for friendships to just happen naturally without putting anything in. I also thought about whether I actually wanted close friends or whether part of me was comfortable keeping things surface level because it felt safer. I realized that being introverted wasn't the problem. Waiting for other people to do all the initiating was. Nobody was going to pull me into a closer friendship if I never gave them anything to work with. The guys I got along with at school were already there. I just hadn't done anything with it. Talking it through helped me see that I didn't need to overhaul my personality or suddenly become someone who's great at socializing. We agreed the best next step was to pick one person I already got along with and actually initiate something outside of school. Nothing big, just something low stakes like asking if they wanted to play something online or grab food. One person, one small step. That felt like something I could actually do without it feeling like a performance.

    Amigos’ Advice

    • Being introverted doesn't mean you can't have close friends it just means you have to be intentional about it
    • Most friendships don't deepen on their own, someone has to take the first small step
    • The people you already get along with at school are the most natural place to start
    • Keeping things surface level can feel safer but it's also what keeps you feeling like you don't fully belong anywhere
    • One low stakes invitation is almost always less awkward than you think it's going to be
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